Another Auld Lang Syne

Well, it's that time of year again. The time when we all go back and evaluate the last year of our lives and make plans for a better and brighter year ahead. I have to say, I did okay with my resolutions from last year. I only had four of them, so it wasn't hard to get them at least partially right. And largely, I have the same resolutions this year. Here they are.

1. Finish losing this weight. I lost a big chunk of it this year, but I've still got a long way to go. Also, the holiday season took a nice little toll on my waistline, so I've got to undo some damage.

2. This one goes along with the first one. I did pretty well with running last year. I worked myself up to being able to run a 5K. That is something I never thought I'd be able to do. This year, the goal is to keep working and be able to run a half-marathon by year's end. In fact, I want to register for the 2014 Disney Princess Half-Marathon. Registration will be before the end of 2013, so I've got to feel reasonably sure I'll be able to do it.

3. Also in conjunction with the whole weight loss bit, I'm going to make a commitment to blog once a week about the journey. I know at least one of my friend is doing the same, so hopefully that will hold me accountable.

4. I flossed more regularly last year. I'd like to do it even more this year. My goal is at least five times a week.

5. Keep on singing! I did some good work in the last year, but I've got to get myself out there this year. More hard work, more practice, more applications sent out come audition season.

Happy new year!!!

The Fat Friend

Well, I kind of failed when it came to blogging all those 30 Day Challenge entries, didn't I? I did them all in my ink-and-paper journal; they just never quite made it to the world wide web. Oh, well. And anyway, the end result of it all was a little anti-climactic. I guess maybe I didn't follow the plan closely enough. I ate after 9 a lot of nights. Couldn't avoid it. I ate sweets, though only when I had the calories to spare. I don't know. I mean, I lost weight. Moreover, I lost inches. Just not a lot. Like, 5 pounds. I was hoping for more.

After the 30 days were up, I kind of went a little crazy. I had, like, a week and a half of just eating whatever the heck I wanted. I've had several more lapses since then. Admittedly, it's hard to eat well when you're hanging out with your ridiculous, southern family who encourages you to eat infant-sized burritos smothered in queso and wash it down with a giant cookies and cream milkshake. But, after all, they don't make my decisions for me.

So anyway, after this past weekend, I'm for real back to it. I did pretty well last week, but I just came through a wedding this weekend, plus Father's Day, during which I had some self-control issues. But those things also spurred me on, and here's why: perhaps it's my recent fall to the communists. (If you don't get that reference, please, please, PLEASE watch the video below. For that matter, watch this whole show. I'm pretty sure it will change your life.) But something has made me take everything REALLY personally for the last few days. Examples. You want examples. Okay. After you watch the video.

1. I saw a bunch of my college buddies this weekend, which was WONDERFUL. I love them and miss them so much. It was like a breath of fresh air. But we were all talking about how we've changed since college. Some have gotten married or engaged, some have fancy grad degrees, some are moving to different countries. And some have lost weight. Some of us were joking about how our boyfriends have made us fat, but I looked around and, really, I'm the only one who looks any fatter. (Now, one sweet friend assured me that I look the same, but the thing is, I lost a lot of weight right after college, and now I've gained it all back. Plus some.) I don't want to be the Fat Friend. Not that I think my friends would ever think of me that way, but I see it.

2. Wes and I were talking about running. As you probably know, I've been participating in the Couch To 5K training program, running increasing distances three times a week until I can run for 30 minutes at a time. And I've been stuck on week 4 of this challenge for... well, quite some time. I haven't been able to get past jogging for 5 minutes. Five minutes. It doesn't seem like that much time, but when you've never run before in your life, it's a major hurdle. Anyway, Wes was talking about getting back into running so we can do the Color Run together in October. But he said we probably wouldn't want to train together at first. I said, "Why, you don't think you can jog for five minutes? Can't keep up with me?" To which he replied, "Just the opposite, actually." Now, I know what he meant. He's run before. He used to run all the time, and he feels like it wouldn't be that hard for him to get back into the swing of it. But what that meant to me is that people (Wes included) have the impression that I'm out of shape. I mean, I AM out of shape, but nobody ever wants people to THINK they're out of shape, especially the person who's supposed to be attracted to them.

3. My parents have lost a ton of weight. My mother is now thinner than I am. And I feel like that shouldn't be the case. Of course I want my mother to be healthy and happy. I just feel like I'm supposed to be "The Skinny One" in the family, and now I'm not.

I know that these are all really ridiculous things to think, but they've made me want to do better. I'm kicking it into high gear now. I FINALLY jogged for five whole minutes this morning (plus three other bursts of three minutes apiece), so the training is finally moving along. And I've stocked my freezer with Lean Cuisines for my lunches this week. So now, I just have to stick to it.

Day 19: A Life-Long Quest

How long have you wanted to lose weight and how long have you been trying?


I've pretty much wanted to lose weight for my entire adult life. As long as I can remember being aware of what my body looks like, I've wanted to lose weight. And I've tried several times. Many times. So many times. This particular bout of weight loss began about a week before I began this challenge. I didn't have a specific plan during that week, so I just cut back on foods I knew were bad for me.

Day 18: Daydreaming

When you picture yourself reaching your ultimate goal weight, what do you picture? Explain where you are, what you are doing, how you are feeling and what you are wearing?


Well, basically, life is incredible at my imagined goal weight. I can imagine several different scenarios. I can see myself at the pool in a bikini, or at least looking really good in a one-piece. I can see myself onstage singing in an unbelievable gown. I can see myself running in a 5K or even a half-marathon at Disney World. And I'm happy! I can't wait!

Day 17: Support System

Does anyone know that you are trying to lose weight? If so, what do they think about it? Are they supportive or non-supportive? How does that make you feel?


At this point, I think pretty much everybody knows. I'm blogging daily (or almost daily) and I'm actively counting calories at every meal. I don't think it escapes anyone's noticing. Everyone has been really supportive. My parents are also trying to lose weight, so my mom and I have been swapping recipes and whatnot. It's pretty great to know that people are rooting for me. They care about me and want the best for me.

Day 16: Skinny Jeans

What kind of clothes do you wear when you are at your thinnest weight? (If you have never been there, what kind WOULD you wear?)


At my thinnest, I wore really cute clothes. Skinny jeans, cute little tops, adorable dresses. And I looked good in them. When you're thin, you have more options of clothes that are flattering, so you can be more expressive. And I feel much more confident when I'm expressing myself in some artistic way. I can't wait to get even thinner than I was, so that I can wear even CUTER clothes. Look out world!

Day 15: Fat Pants

What kind of clothes do you wear when you are at your heaviest weight? Explain why and how you feel in them.


When I'm my heaviest, I don't dress particularly well. I'm a girl who likes to be stylish, but it's harder when you're fat. Clothes just aren't as flattering. I have to wear looser pants and less form-fitting tops. And I feel unattractive in them. Because I'm just NOT as attractive in them. But I think that just sort of goes with the territory.

Day 14: Just a Hate Relationship

What is your least favorite exercise to do? Explain why. Now come up with ways you could make that exercise more fun. Example: running- for every mile you run, you get to buy yourself a small reward.


I don't know exactly what my least favorite exercise would be, because I haven't tried that many different exercises. I know that I really hate going to the gym, though. I hate how public it is and how sterile the environment is. But I have no idea how to make that more fun. I'm kind of at a loss on this one.

Day 13: A Love/Hate Relationship

What is your favorite exercise to do? Explain why.


I'm going to be honest. I hate to exercise. I mean, HATE. There are few things I hate doing more than exercising. But it must be done. I'm realizing that more and more. I've basically lived a sedentary life heretofore, but that's not an option anymore. So I've started running. I never thought I'd even remotely enjoy it, but I kind of do. I think just running with no direction wouldn't be fun, but I've been using the Couch to 5K program to keep me motivated. It's kind of a fun challenge.

Day 12: Anything's delicious if you roast it.

What is your favorite healthy food and why? Now find the nutritional information for that food and list: the number of servings, the amount of calories, the total fat (if any), the amount of sodium (if any), the total carbs (if any), and the grams of sugar (if any). Think about how good that food is for you and compare it to the junk food you listed on Day 11.


I really, REALLY love roasted vegetables, particularly zucchini, squash, and eggplant. They get so delicious when they're roasted. The sugars in them caramelize and get brown and are just... oh, boy... so good. And the nutrition info is beautiful.

Serving size: 1 cup ( I usually eat multiple servings.)
Calories: 43 (Approximately, depending on the mixture of veggies.)
Sodium: 2 mg
Carbs: 6g
Sugar: 0g

Day 11: Butter and Oil!

What is your favorite junk food and why? Now, find the nutritional information for that junk food (preferably online so that you don't actually have to see the food) and list the number of servings, the number of calories, the total fat, the amount of sodium, the total carbs, and the grams of sugar. Think about how unhealthy that junk food is and share why you want to stop eating it.


My favorite snack food EVER is popcorn. I love it so, so much. I love it in every form: movie theater, microwave bags, popped in my Stir-Crazy, whatever. Of course, popcorn can be a really good snack but, if you eat it the way I like to, it's really pretty awful for you. I like for it to be swimming in butter. For instance, at the movies, when they ask me if I want butter, my response is usually, "Yes, like, more than you think is appropriate." My popcorn guy in Gatlinburg calls my order "The Heart Attack." (Is it weird that I have a popcorn guy? I see nothing wrong with it.) Anyway, Regal Movie Theaters have their nutrition info for a small popcorn (which is usually what I eat) listed as follows:

Serving Size: 6 cups
Calories: 630
Fat: 50 g
Sodium: 550 mg
Carbs- 37 g
Sugar- 0g

Fortunately, when I make my own popcorn, I can, and do, control how much butter, salt, and oil are used. I don't want to stop eating popcorn, as the question prompts me to do. I just need to remember not to go overboard.

Day 10: High and Lows

What was your lowest weight and what was your highest weight? How did you feel at each weight?


I'm not ready to tell my weight in such a public forum, as my current weight is pretty close to my highest weight. But I can tell you that, when I was at my lowest weight in my adult like, I was confident, I could wear clothes that I liked, and I had more energy. At my heaviest, I just didn't feel good at all. Still don't really, but it's getting better. I can feel the burden start to lift. Already, my clothes are starting to fit better (for example, I bought a pair of pants at Christmas that were slightly too small; today, they were falling off) and I have a bit more energy. And I'm dreaming of the clothes I'll be able to wear soon. Can't wait!

Day 9: Sweet Inspirations

(Brownie points if you know the origin of the title of this post.)

Post a picture of you or of someone else that motivates you to lose weight. What features do you like about this person's body? Why does this picture motivate you?


I'll post two pictures. One of me and one of someone else. Here's me.

This picture of me is proof that I can do this. I've done it before. I've lost weight. I've been thin. I've been happy with my body. I've done it before and I'll do it again. When I was thinner, I felt more beautiful and more self-confident. I wore the clothes I wanted to wear and I looked good in them! These days, I have to be careful that the clothes I wear don't make me look even fatter than I am. I love having that flexibility to wear what I want, because I love clothes and fashion and I want what I'm wearing to stand out in a crowd.

Here's my second picture.

I don't know who she it, but she's BEAUTIFUL. I love that she's thin, but still curvy and voluptuous. I'm not sure what kind of body I'll have when all this weight is gone. I don't have prominent hips or butt. But maybe I do and they're just hiding under some fat. Maybe I'll be curvy like this. We'll see.

Day 8: Motivation

What motivates you the most when trying to lose weight? Is it a special even coming up, old pictures of yourself, etc.?


Mostly, I'm motivated just by the thought of being thin. I do have some events coming up in the next few years that I want to look good for, though. My five-year college reunion is in a year. My ten-year high school reunion is in two. All my friends are getting married, so I have scads of wedding to go to. And hopefully, before too long, I'll have a wedding of my own to plan for. Fitness-wise, I've been running, specifically training for a 5K. The Color Run is coming to Charlotte in October and I really want to run it. After that, I'm going to train for a half-marathon. The Disney Princess Half-Marathon is in February. Who knows if I'll be ready for it by then, but even if I'm not, Disney World does multiple running events every year and I'd love to do one. That's the goal, anyway.

Day 7: Insecurities

Are you insecure about your body? If yes, which area(s) in particular? If no, explain why you want to change it.


I'm very insecure about my body, especially my belly and my double chin. Everything else, my arms and legs, etc., are really skinny. It looks really weird. If I can get rid of the belly, the chin will go with it, and things will even out. I think. Also, I'm sort of hoping that improving my nutrition will help get rid of (or at least improve) my acne.

P.S. Today marks one week of this challenge. So far, so good.

Day 6: The Method Behind My Madness

Why do you want to lose weight? What is the main reason?


The main reason is just to look better: for the stage, for Wes, for everyone around me, and for me. I don't like what I see in the mirror. I know that I have been beautiful, but that beauty is buried right now. It's time to get back to that. There's no excuse for carrying around all this excess fat and ugliness.

Day 5: Forming new habits

Besides losing weight, what else do you hope to accomplish by completing The Shrinking Beauty 30 Day Challenge?

I'm hoping that following these steps will help me start to form good habits. It's always a good idea not to binge or not to eat late at night. Hopefully, if I can do these things for 30 days, I can continue to do them after the month is up. So in short, I'm hoping to start a new lifestyle.

Day 4: Easy Question

Will you be losing weight in a healthy way or in an unhealthy way? Explain why.


Of course, losing weight the healthy way is the way to go. I certainly don't want to starve myself or anything. However, if I'm a few calories under my goal for the day, I'm not going to beat myself up about it.

Day 3: You're it, you're the ultimate.

What is your ultimate goal weight that you have set for yourself? Why have you chosen that number?

The ULTIMATE for me is 120 pounds. I've looked at all the charts about appropriate body weight for different heights and body types and this seems like a reasonable number. On the thin side, but not unhealthy. It would also make a very round, even amount of weight for me to lose, and if you know me at all, you know that even numbers are kind of a big deal for me.

Day 2: Optimistic Realism

How many pounds do you HOPE to lose by the end of The Shrinking Beauty 30 Day Challenge?

Well, I HOPE to lose fifty pounds! But I know that's totally unrealistic wishful thinking. Honestly, based on how I did yesterday, and knowing how many calories you have to cut to lose a single pound, my hope is 15 pounds down this month. I expect I can do at least 10. And, you know, 10 is a good start.

Day 1: Unacceptable

What are your current stats? Explain how many calories you will be eating every day, and what exercise you will be doing during The Shrinking Beauty 30 Day Challenge.


This morning, at the beginning of this challenge, I weighed in and saw a number. A big number. It is simply too much. Especially considering the work that I did a few weeks ago. I'd lost about 10 pounds, and now I've gained back 5 of it. Unacceptable. So this is my solution. I've got a set number of calories per day. It seems like not that much food, but it's shouldn't be too hard if I really concentrate on fresh fruits and veggies. For exercise, (which is a word I never spell right the first time), I will continue my Couch to 5K training 3 days a week and will add some low-impact exercises on two of the remaining days. 

No shrinking violet. But a shrinking beauty? Maybe.

So, I’ve been working on this dieting thing. But I haven’t seemed to get anywhere much. I mean, sure, I’ve lost a few pounds, but nothing to write home about. You know, it’s pretty difficult. Putting weight on is so easy, but taking it off is really hard. It’s like what I’ve heard about habits: it takes, like, 20 times to learn a behavior, but something like 500 times to UN-learn it. (Or at least those are the stats I give my students when they ask me how much they should practice.)

So, I’ve found a new idea to help me. It’s called The Shrinking Beauty 30 Day Challenge. I found while browsing the internet last night, and it seems like exactly what I need: a plan; a challenge, a competition, even, albeit with myself. The rules are pretty simple.

1. No scale
2. No binge eating
3. No fast food
4. No eating after 8 pm
5. Answer daily journal questions found at shrinkingbeauty101.tumblr.com

That’s it’s. No big deal, right? Each rule seems pretty easy by itself. The combination? Could be tough. It will be hard for me to not step on the scale. I kind of do it compulsively, but I’ve covered the display so I’ll be less tempted. And I’m extending the 8 pm food cutoff to 9 pm, because I sometimes work kind of late. And let’s face it: I’m a girl who loves to binge, not to mention a stress-eater. Pack of cookies? Gone in 10 minutes. Ice cream? 5 minutes. Bag of chips? Doesn’t even make it all the way home. But I’m going to try my darndest to get keep up with this.

Now, before you get started, the plan instructs you to do a few things.

1. Weigh yourself and take your picture. (This picture will later serve as your “before” picture.)
2. Keep a food journal and write down everything you eat.

      And you’re supposed to answer a few questions, so here goes.

1.       Decide how many calories you will be consuming every day.
   o   I consulted a nutrition app to see how many calories I’m supposed to have per
        day. Then I settled on a number slightly lower, just for good measure. 
2.       Decide what kind of exercise you will be getting and how often.
   o   I’ve already been participating in nhs.uk’s Couch to 5K training program. 3 days a
         week, I walk/jog with the intention of being ready for a 5K in 9 weeks. In addition
         to this, I’m going to add in exercises from Be Healthy Be Happy’s Four-Level
         exercise plan. I’ll add two of those per week.
3.       Make a list of the reasons why you want to lose weight. (This one was tough. Not that it was tough to come up with the list, just that the list brought up some kind of emotional things.)
   o   To be healthier         
   o   To be more attractive         
   o   To impress my friends at weddings/reunions         
   o   So people won’t ask me if I’m pregnant         
   o   So Wes will think I’m sexier         
   o   To be ready for engagement photos and, eventually, look good in my wedding dress         
   o   To set a good example for my future children         
   o   To be desirable to casting directors         
   o   So my tattoo won’t be too gross when I get old
   o   To look better onstage

      So, there we go. I also weighed this morning. Pardon me if I don’t share that exact number. But I will provide this link to my “before” photos. I ask that nobody judge me, should you choose to look at them. They are not meant to be sexual in any way, but they are of me in my underwear in order to show all the aspects of my body that I don’t like. I feel rather bold about it. Also, stay tuned to this blog. I’ll answer my journal questions on here.

     Wish me luck!

Au Naturale

So, we've been dieting since January 1. Sort of. We tried through the month of January and did okay. Well, we didn't gain any weight, at least. I don't know what Wes's progress was like specifically, but I personally lost a little, then teeter-tottered around that mark for the rest of the month. But it was a hard month for it. I had a show going on and had, like, a gazillion rehearsals, so I was eating late at night and eating fast food and stuff like that. So really, the fact that I didn't gain any weight was sort of a miracle.

But February is a new month and our resolve is strengthened. Wes is participating in Men's Health's Belly Off Club and I've been reaping the benefits. He's been cooking their recipes this week. They're pretty tasty and really low in calories. And so far, after just about of week of this, he says his pants fit better and I've lost about 4 pounds. Go us!

On a different note, I have recently gotten on an all-natural kick. (I know that sounds lame, but I don't know how else to put it.) I've been buying up all-natural products, starting with products for my face and hair. It started with two ideas: 1) I'm INCREDIBLY tired of dealing with chronic acne and am looking for a way to fix it. Nothing I've ever bought over-the-counter has helped. 2) A friend of mine has a sister who owns and operates a company that makes and sells all natural-products for face, body, and home. She and her husband both have a family history of cancer and heart disease and she decided that she didn't want those things for her children. So she started creating products that are free of chemicals and toxins. Check out her website for Fiddlebump's Apothecary.

Anyway, so far, I've switched to Alba Botanica's Natural Acne-dote Deep Pore Scrub, and Fiddlebump's Apothecary's Strawberry Leaf Astingent and Skin Food for Problem Skin. So far, my skin seems to be looking pretty good. I'll update when I've been using them a little longer. Also, today I purchased some natural hair care. I got Allafia's Everyday Shea Shampoo (in Vanilla Mint) for Wes (and for me, when I'm not trying to have curly hair) and their Curl Enhancing Shampoo and and Leave-In Conditioner. I'll update about these, too. I'm pretty excited about everything. I'm ready to get rid of unnecessary grossness in my life.

Wish me luck!

New Years Resolutions

I feel that these don’t really need any introduction. We all want to make our lives better this year. These are the ways by which I’m going to try to achieve that.

1. Lose 50 pounds. 30 of them by summer.
2. Floss every day.
3. Get my singing voice back in peak shape and do some auditions/competitions.
4. Read more.

This list is subject to change and addition for the next week or so. Mostly because I feel like I’ve forgotten something I thought of. What are some of your resolutions.